Post by Waterhouse03 on Nov 8, 2016 15:00:28 GMT -7
Something I did for my recovery today, Tuesday, November 8, 2016:
I voted for the first time, in the U.S. election! That's right, I walked into the polling station, which just so happens to be a CHURCH, and I VOTED. I stood in line with hundreds of others on an early Tuesday morning and cast my vote. I voted for a political candidate... a worldly person! In fact, I voted for several people, since the ballot covered state and local elections as well.
And it felt good! I don't say it to brag, but I felt like an adult, a citizen, a human being.
So this is something I actually did back in the spring but I just got the finished product in the mail. When I heard on Seth Andrew's ThinkingAtheist podcast that an Astronomer was looking for crowd sourcing support for a new book he was writing, I wanted to see what I could do. I signed up to volunteer as a beta reader and for the next 8 or 12 weeks, submitted feedback chapter by chapter. I just got my signed copy back in the mail and I even get a mention in the acknowledgements. Small thing but it makes me smile to think my name is in a science book!
"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." - Friedrich Nietzsche "Live as if you were living already for the second time as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!" - Viktor Frankl
Finally got the tattoo I've been contemplating since exiting 2.5 years ago... I'm slow to warm up to decisions, but once I make them, I'm impatient. :)
Wow, that looks really nice! A Celtic knot?
It really looks Celtic, doesn't it? It's called the Endless Knot. It's a symbol of Samsara -- which itself, to be brief, represents the cyclicality of life. If you're familiar with the concept of Nirvana, Samsara is the opposite. It's the churning and messy world we live in where we must screw up, repeatedly, and face challenges, and grow as a result. I wanted a reminder of the futility of striving for idealistic, perfect things and of the need to embrace chaos. I am not Buddhist nor Hindu, but I thought the concept matched my inner philosophy well.
I'm also self-conscious of sounding like a pretentious @$$hole when I explain the meaning of the tattoo, so I mostly hope people will assume it's a Celtic knot. :D
Acceptmyshine, The tattoo is really cool, I love the story that goes with it. I'm contemplating getting one myself but it will have to be something meaningful. Great inspiration there!
Toobad, I checked out the link for the book, I can't wait to read it. Also will be following on FB. What an accomplish to be part of its publication! I request books from the public library so I'll have it soon. Congratulations! 😀
Post by Acceptmyshine on Feb 6, 2017 20:03:21 GMT -7
I listen to most episodes of Sam Harris' Waking Up podcast. In the summer he had Will Macaskill on and in October he had Peter Singer. Both are part of the Effective Altruism movement and, essentially, both feel those of us in affluent lands have a moral obligation to help those in poorer lands, especially when it comes to unnecessary suffering and preventable deaths. While I am EXTREMELY hesitant to accept that I "should" do anything, post-JW life, (I mostly regard "should" as a 4-letter word), I found their arguments compelling. Then I had to read and (just this weekend) write an essay on Peter Singer's 1972 paper on Famine, Affluence and Morality. Even though I am arguing *against* his argument (I do not believe it is *immoral* not to donate) I am still quite compelled by the majority of his points.
Something to keep in mind is that both these philosophers are committed to people putting their money where it will do the most good. One charity they both support, for instance, is Against Malaria. One simple chemically-treated mosquito net can save 2 lives. It costs $2.50 USD. It's easy to think we don't have the power or means to make a difference, but if a life is worth $1.25, that's harder to argue. So I decided I am going to pledge a portion of my income (which isn't much right now as I am a fulltime student. I also am supported by my husband, so I am not trying to pat myself on the back here or anything). Also today I made a lump sum donation for 100 nets.
This feels very therapeutic to me, which is why I am posting it here. Please note I *disagree* with Singer and therefore I am not trying to convince ANYONE that they *should* do what I'm doing -- that's not the point of my post. I guess the point is: after leaving JWs for a long time I felt the need to be selfish. My life hadn't been my own for so long. As a JW so many others had a claim on it. I needed to be self-centered to know I had worth and to heal. Now I might be ready to reach out of myself and give again. I don't necessarily mean in a financial way, but that is the avenue I chose today. I also feel SOOOO DIFFERENTLY about giving this money to this organization versus giving it to the JW.org whenever we did donate. I can SEE the change I am making. I can SEE the difference it makes, and it's not just a tax write-off.
Post by Thehotone4u2 on Apr 2, 2017 7:43:51 GMT -7
I went to Nevada and gambled. Lol. And drank...whiskey... lol
I'm not under the influence of jw philosophy any longer. I have the ability to make my own choices in life good or bad, and therefore I am solely in charge of my reputation; the impression I make to others. I have the ability to use my own mind to form my own opinions, and I do.
Last night I was listening to a blues band outside overlooking the Colorado River. The lady next to me asked if I would save her seat while she went to the bathroom. I did. Immediately this bozo decided he doesn't like people who save seats! I told him I don't care what he likes, and never gave it a second thought! Years ago I would have been all over catering to his abusive behavior. I consider this evidence of my forward progress!
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to god!-Lenny Bruce (1925-1966)
Post by Worldling9 on Apr 26, 2017 12:36:53 GMT -7
I contacted an exjw friend in need to see how I could help. Really not any different than being at these forums to offer support. As some of you know, I am going through chemo, which will be followed by radiation therapy, for breast cancer. Only stage 1, it's been removed, and I'm going to be fine. Anyway, my 82 year old uberdub aunt sent me a card informing me that the best way to heal is to help others. Of course, her idea of helping others is to plant herself at a nursing home and bother people all day. Oh, Auntie, if you only knew how I help people...hehehe
This happened a couple of weeks ago... We finally got to go do the "cryocoring" that we trained for last fall. It was in a coastal marsh five hours North of where we live. Basically, it involved dragging a large tank of liquid nitrogen around on a sled, and making mud-sicles to measure soil build up. We met some nice new people. While people were doing the March For Science...we were actually out in the muck doing science.
"If you believe something just because you're on the right or on the left then you are an idiot." Steven Pinker
Something I did yesterday was sign up on this forum. As for today?.....I felt good about it. No guilt! Just nervous energy because I have so much to say and so many stories to tell!! I don't quite know where to start.....
I do have a comment about running into Dubs now a days....I always find their reaction to recognizing me/us interesting. We've been "out" for 18+ yrs now, and I've noticed since the last ASSembly....(last year? IDK?) the "return to me" theme (??) they always try to love bomb us now instead of turning and running with their tail between their legs. I find it so entertaining. I especially like to hear of their reactions when they see my sons tatts. And I like to see the confused look on their faces when they find out how well my family is doing. Recently my hub was talking to our dumb-ass, self-righteous S-I-L about his job, work and his class that night....so she says...."what class are you taking?".....He says; "no I'm not "taking" the class, I'm "teaching" it. I will NEVER forget her confused little response..."oh"...as if that wasn't possible.
Post by Chris Ryan on Oct 13, 2017 16:10:38 GMT -7
I love catching the JWs off guard. I mean them no harm, but it's funny how they react. Like when I was handing the lead elder my disassociation letter. They were all fidgety and weren't used to people ignoring their 'Authority'. There were a few sideways looks when I was sitting there with my earrings, tattoos, and beard while they announced it. Oh, and a big grin on my face. That was my best experience inside a KH ever!
..::"You can close your eyes to the things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to the things you don’t want to feel." -Johnny Depp::..
Post by Chris Ryan on May 18, 2018 12:14:35 GMT -7
Something I did Today For My Recovery
Something wonderful happened to me today. I saw an old JW friend at the grocery store. Usually I'd be uptight and a little nervous seeing a JW I know. Since then, I've switched to the direct approach and decided not to play by their shunning rules when I see them in public. Haha so I go up to them like nothing's wrong and try to shake their hand and act all friendly. That makes them look so bad when they snub me and there are onlookers. It's a good Un-Witness...
Debbie was never a gung ho type JW. She was always so kind and thoughtful. I met her and her brother way back when I was fresh off the bus to New Mexico. I met them at the KH. They were really nice. We hit it off right away as friends. Then, after being here a few weeks, elderette Marge pulled me aside and whispered: “Chris, you might want to stay away from Debbie and her brother, they are bad association!”...
I was newly back in the Jws after a long inactive spell. My being a JW was a condition placed on me by the parents. If I live under their roof, I had to go to meetings and be a JW. I had nowhere else to go so I tried to be a good lil' witless. Unfortunately, that meant doing stupid things, like shunning two cool new friends that hadn't done anything wrong. Deep down I always felt BAD about it. I thought about it for years. Wondered how Debbie and her brother were doing. Wishing we were still hanging out.
I saw Debbie in the grocery store today. She's cute as a button. A short, pettite Hispanic woman. So outgoing and friendly. I wondered how she'd react if I went up to her and said hi. Usually the JWs I approach recognize me and scurry away like cocka-roaches.
Not Debbie. She's always smiled at me and talked to me when I would happen to meet her by chance over the years. So I was hoping I could talk to her again. Just a quick hello. It turned out to be so much more than that...
I parked my shopping buggy and walked over to her. She saw me and smiled. Immediately she opened up her arms for a hug, and I being a lover of hugs walked right into it. We smiled and embraced for a second or two, then we had a nice little chat!
I said: “Debbie, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for so long now. Remember back when we first met, became friends, and then I ditched you?”... She knew what I meant. After Marge's warning, I didn't hang out with them any more. She said: “Yes, I know what you mean.”. I told her:”Debbie I quit hanging out with you because Marge told me that you and your family were bad association, and that I had better steer clear of you...”.
Debbie got a little misty eyed and granbbed my hand and thanked me. She siad it means so much that I told her what happened and how I felt about it. I think she genuinely appreciated my effort to clear the air after nearly 20 years.
Debbie just kept smiling at me and we kept talking. She told me that they were extra extra inactive,lol. She asked me for my number and said we should have dinner some time and catch up more. I told her that I was disassociated, and that I am an activist against the WT these days. That I spend a lot of time trying to help those leaving the WT. It didn't matter. She kept smiling and was still very excited about seeing me and meeting up for drinks etc.
I gave her my number and we shared a parting hug. I walked out of the store with a huge smile on my face and warm vibrant feelings coming from me like a beacon. As a matter of fact, I'm smiling right now! :-)
..::"You can close your eyes to the things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to the things you don’t want to feel." -Johnny Depp::..
Post by Hungryhippo on May 21, 2018 10:06:15 GMT -7
I spoke out against JWs to a stranger!!
A few yards away from where the cult cart parks outside our Tesco there was a busker with his guitar, case in front of him, anyways after the cart had gone I had to walk past this guy and noticed that they had left a watchtower in his guitar case, I actually couldn't believe that so turned and went back, asked him about it and he said they had left it for him, told him to chuck that load of crap away, he seemed surprised at my response as 'they seemed quite nice harmless people', that was all I needed & quickly enlightened him on that! Felt quite good anti-witnessing!
Mr. Be Free openly told his previous bible study(who is now baptized and an active witness with his family) that we are no longer JWs. We have been faded for 4 years or so (Hubby left 1 year after me) and I do think time is helping us heal...or be free (ha)...or is it not give a shit anymore? Lol
This is kind of Something someone else did for my recovery today:
Girlfriend M who lives on the other side of Melbourne had a group of JWs in her area door knocking last Saturday; she was in the garden with her husband and saw them doing the rounds. So she ran inside, got a copy of my book (A Little Lower Than Angels) sat outside on her swing chair and waited for them with the book beside her in full view.
A man and woman rolled up. First she tackled them on the Royal Commission into child sex abuse and said she knew some people who were JWs, and how disappointing it is to see the JWs are no better than the Catholics (she's a lapsed Catholic btw). The man said things have changed now blah, blah.
She challenged him on the shunning. Told him how when her JW girlfriend (moi) got into trouble the JWs were no help, but they put her on probation and interrogated about her personal life. (The usual JW BS about it being a loving arrangement to help them see the seriousness etc). During this guy's schpiel she said she was drumming her fingers on my book and the JW woman was looking at it.
M then held up my book at them and said this girl has written about her life as a JW and what happens when you're squeezed out because you're not coping with life.
JW man said Oh that book is demon inspired.
She asked Have you read it? Of course he said no, that he didn't need to.
M laughed; said she's been good friends with the author for 35 years and is one of the kindest most honest people she knows.
She then told them not to come back to her home again, and told them they owe it to themselves to do their homework and watch the royal commission if they haven't already. (I wasn't a child victim of sex abuse in the org btw. She just wanted to have her say at them because their hypocrisy makes her blood boil - she is a survivor of child sex abuse herself within a Catholic family situation.)
My beautiful girlfriend M has made my day. To have someone who's never been a JW stand up to them with some inside knowledge is just the best message I could have. Despite having been gone from the org nearly 40 years (but only found out TTATT since 1999) recovery is an ongoing thing especially when all immediate family are still in it.
Hope anyone reading this helps in their own recovery too.
Shimmerjet: I am ok hotone thanks for asking, usually warm for this time of year here in middlew earth
Jun 15, 2019 15:02:06 GMT -7
Rusholme: Greetings from Sweden! Long time no see! :)
Jun 23, 2019 9:48:46 GMT -7
Shimmerjet: hey Rusholme great to see you, gottta go to work but hopefully we can catch up soon, hope you are well x
Jun 23, 2019 12:53:06 GMT -7
Shimmerjet: Morning all, have a beautiful day x
Jun 27, 2019 12:53:42 GMT -7
Rusholme: Hope everyone is having a nice day!
Jul 3, 2019 8:16:33 GMT -7
Shimmerjet: Today felt like a week, last day of school tomorrow then two glorious weeks off, the kids have checked out already, making for the long day!
Jul 3, 2019 20:44:50 GMT -7
Rusholme: Sounds good shimmer, hope you'll have a great vacay!
Jul 4, 2019 3:41:40 GMT -7
Thehotone4u2: Yay! Days off! Unfortunately I've got a pile of stuff to do around the house.
Jul 4, 2019 14:30:56 GMT -7
Shimmerjet: Yea same, like a date with the linen cupboard lol
Jul 4, 2019 22:07:26 GMT -7
Shimmerjet: quee, hello, lol I was just looking to see if you were on fb and here you are, hows things?
Jul 4, 2019 22:10:57 GMT -7
Queequeg: Great Shimmy, I'll try to catch you on facebook in a bit.
Jul 4, 2019 22:16:17 GMT -7
Shimmerjet: the one thing Australia does better than New Zealand is......... vegemite beats marmite hands down
Jul 5, 2019 0:12:34 GMT -7
DrivingAce: Hey Guys! It's been a while since I came on, but I wanted to say a quick hello! I've been mostly lurking on the exjw Subreddit, but I didn't want to forget everyone here! Hope all is well!
Jul 8, 2019 8:37:39 GMT -7
Rusholme: Good to hear from you drivingace, all the best! ; )
Jul 10, 2019 7:43:09 GMT -7
Shimmerjet: Wanted..... posters, please we need to liven up this place, we get many visitors but not many posters, why is this? We are a laid back bunch, most veiws welcome, christain, pagan, everyday stuff, all makes for a good convo? take the plunge and post?
Jul 12, 2019 2:39:53 GMT -7
Thehotone4u2: I'm happy to report that I finally got a day off! Yay! Finally got a chance to post a few things. I hope you guys are having a wonderful day today!
Jul 14, 2019 9:58:37 GMT -7
Thehotone4u2: I hope to finally retire sometime at the end of the year.
Jul 14, 2019 18:00:29 GMT -7